Conqueror 2

[V e r i 4]

(I honestly can't believe myself I'm making a sequel, but I'm going to try it) Ironfist looked towards his new comrade as they both stepped out of the arena, "So... what is your name?" The comrade replied, "Gromok." Ironfist gasped. He had heard that name before, but where? That did not matter now, for the guards might notice their disappearance any moment now, he thought. Ironfist and Gromok sauntered off for an hour or two, before night yet again approached them. They got to work slicing down wood to built a temporary shelter. By the time they had finished, they were very sleepy. They woke up early in the morning to a twig snap nearby, and to their surprise, it was one of the guards. Why was this one going off it's patrol route? He took no chances, he had charged at the guard, and brutally slashed his axe into his head. The guard fell silent. Gromok said towards the young orc, "Don't be too rational, after all, this might be an ambush." Ironfist sighed, the young orc knew Gromok might be right. They sauntered off for a few more hours, before meeting the southern borders of Silverpine. Gromok let out a gasp for air, "Undercity is not far, perhaps from there we can make it to Silvermoon." Ironfist acknowledged Gromok carefully, but said nothing. They continued onwards, keeping their eyes looking for anything suspicious. They didn't find anything, but found the entrance of Undercity soon enough. 
"Cover your nose, brother. This isn't going to be a nice walk." Gromok had whispered towards Ironfist, nodding. They walked down into Undercity, luckily the fight for Lordaeron wasn't taking place yet. They had managed to find a translocation orb to Silvermoon, as Gromok had recently told Ironfist about. They used it and teleported into the magical city of Silvermoon. Now to find an Orgrimmar portal, Gromok thought to himself. They walked around Silvermoon for hours, until they had found their prize... a Orgrimmar portal. Gromok looked towards Ironfist, both nodding as they jumped through. They had finally reunited with their people. It was indeed a long journey, but at last they were able to reconnect with their orc brethren. They soon had found their way into the soldiers of the Horde, and their friendship continued as they clashed with the Alliance... side by side.

[TheDemon 109]

Again quite good, with some mistakes here and there

"Don't be too rational, after all, this might be an ambush." - I think you wanted to say "Don't be too rushed, ..." or "Be a bit rational, ...";

'sauntering' while not necessarily the wrong word to use is a bit bad in this context; sauntering means relaxed/casual walking with no hurry, which I imagine, is not what escaped prisoners would do.

 

I think you are not native English, I could recommend some dictionary to check the meaning of words you are not sure about. Just using something like google translator is not a good idea.

[V e r i 4]

On 1/24/2018 at 2:13 AM, Vojtik said:

Again quite good, with some mistakes here and there

"Don't be too rational, after all, this might be an ambush." - I think you wanted to say "Don't be too rushed, ..." or "Be a bit rational, ...";

'sauntering' while not necessarily the wrong word to use is a bit bad in this context; sauntering means relaxed/casual walking with no hurry, which I imagine, is not what escaped prisoners would do.

 

I think you are not native English, I could recommend some dictionary to check the meaning of words you are not sure about. Just using something like google translator is not a good idea.

Yep, not native english

[Insomnia 76]

Very impressive for someone still learning english, I agree with Vojtik.  Use a dictionary when writing and you'll be fluent and correct in english in no time.  Writing like this is great practice.  Keep up the good work!

[Rogan 158]

Short but it's more character-building for the heck of it.